CONCHITA’S DIARY- 6

1961-1963
The Most Holy Virgin announces the miracle to me
The Most Holy Virgen has foretold to me a great miracle that God Our Lord is going to perform through her intercession.
Since the chastisement is very great, as we merit, the Miracle is also immeasurably great, as the world needs.
The Virgin has told me the date of the Miracle and what it will be. I should tell people eight days before it happens so that they will come. The Pope will see it from where he is, and so will Padre Pío. The sick who attend the Miracle will be cured and the sinners will be converted. Those who see this great Miracle that God Our Lord will perform through the intercession of the Most Holy Virgin will not doubt. And now, all will await this great day of the Miracle to see if the world will change and the chastisement will not come.
At the beginning of it all, the Virgin told the four of us—Loli, Jacinta, Mari Cruz, and I—that we would contradict each other, that our families wouldn’t get along well, and even that we would deny that we had seen the Virgin and the Angel. [About this announcement, which refers to the denials and the manner in which they happened, we will say much more later, taking into account other documents in this book.] Obviously, we were very surprised that she told us these things. And everything that the Virgin told us at the beginning happened during the month of January, 1963. [In order to understand Conchita’s statement, we have to take into account the date on which this was written, which is late in the year 1963. What she says is only a part of what was announced.].
We came to contradict each other and we even denied that we had seen the Virgin.
We even went one day to confess it. But we felt inside that the Angel and the Most Holy Virgin had appeared to us, since they had brought a peace and internal joy to our souls, and a great desire to love them with our whole hearts. For their smiles and their speech and what they told us made us love them, love them very much, and give ourselves completely to them. [In these paragraphs written by Conchita, we see the psychological analysis that she makes interiorly, incomprehensible for her youth and lack of education. At the same time she shows us some key elements that correspond to the discernment of spirits. She does this in a descriptive form, that is to say, she describes her interior life of which she has been an object. Because of this we do it with such security and accuracy].
When we went to confession, it was without thinking about it, without believing that it was a sin. We went because the parish priest told us that we should go to confession.
We doubted a little, but a doubt of a type that seems from the devil, who wants us to deny the Virgin.
And afterwards, we told our parents that we hadn’t seen the Virgin; but that the calls and the Miracle of the Sacred Host were true.
In my heart, I was surprised to say these things when my conscience was completely calm about having seen the Most Holy Virgin.
The parish priest, Fr. Valentín Marichalar, gave us ten rosaries and five Our Fathers for penance.
And after we had said this, in a few days the Virgin appeared to us again.
Ceferino, Loli’s father, had told a commission of doctors to come; their names were Alejandro Gasca, Félix Gallego, and Celestino Ortiz [Dr. Alejandro Gasca was the senior doctor in Penilla and the director of the center in Reinosa. Dr. Félix Gallego was the doctor in Requedjada-Polance. Dr. Celestino Ortiz Pérez was the doctor in Santander.]. And on the night that they came, they began to question Mari Cruz, Jacinta, Loli, and their parents about the reason that they were saying that they weren’t seeing the Virgin. I don’t know what they thought. What I do know is that they said that I performed the Miracle of the Host, and they explained it in their way. Obviously, they didn’t know what they were saying at the time. And they allowed themselves to be controlled by the devil.
And after that day, they didn’t have any more apparitions. I had apparitions on the same night, and until January 20th. [This refers to the year 1963] After that I didn’t see her again. [Conchita talks from the perspective of the date on which she writes. In reality a greater crisis of doubts and denials would take place in the summer of 1966, as she will tell later].
Now Loli and Jacinta have come back to reality, to believing that they have seen the Most Holy Virgin. Really, how could they not believe?

Mari Cruz still continues saying that she hasn’t seen the Most Holy Virgin [Mari Cruz was the first to stop having the ecstasies. She has also stayed in a state of doubt and denial the longest. For this purpose, we will quote a letter from Mari Cruz in which she confides her feelings about having a different schedule for visions than the other girls, and also her reaction to the comments made by the people:

“The people don’t like me because I see the Virgin less, but I want what She wants. It has been 18 days since I’ve seen her, but I love her as I do when I see her.” This letter was written September 19, 1962.].

I also doubted a little that the Miracle would come. And one day, while in my room doubting if the Miracle would really come, I heard a voice that said:

─ “Conchita, do not doubt that my Son will perform a Miracle.”
I felt this inside, but as clear as if I had heard through my ears; or even clearer. It was without words. It left me a peace… a joy! More than when I see Her.
The first person to whom I told this was Plácido. Later, he told it to the others. [Plácido Ruiloba is a gentleman from Santander who followed the events that happened in Garabandal from the beginning with great interest.]. They are called “locutions” [Among the phenomena that take place in Garabandal we have to distinguish between the “calls,” the “apparitions,” and the “locutions.” Conchita distinguishes between them as we have seen up until this point, and she herself described what the calls are. She has also explained what an apparition is. Now she makes a marvelous description of what a locution is. To understand better, we will say that the Vision has the same effect for the girls as something entering the eye. The color, size, etc. can be described like this. The words that they hear during the ecstasies proceed from the Virgin, and are concrete words. They can be found in the dictionary.
In a locution there are no words in the grammatical sense. It cannot be said that the Virgin or Our Lord employs Spanish or French words, or words from any other language. They arrive directly at the faculty of understanding and feeling. As a result, it is more profound, more certain, and less subject to error. Yet it is problematic for the child to translate into words what has been communicated without them. As a result, in different instances she uses different words to describe what happened.
At the same time she explains something that happened without words, she gives very valid notes for the discernment of spirits, for example: peace, security, fullness, increasing love, etc.]. They could be called a voice of joy, a voice of happiness, a voice of peace. And then, I didn’t doubt anything again. [Conchita speaks in 1963. She would not mention the doubts that would come in the summer of 1966.].
But the days passed. And the voice didn’t return. That made me suffer. But I understand: how could God go on giving me such happiness so often, without meriting it?
The locutions did me much good. Because it was as if the Most Holy Virgin were within me. What happiness!...
At the end of the month, again I heard that voice of interior happiness without words, in the Church.
I prefer the locution more than the apparitions, since during the locution I have her in my very self.
Oh, what happiness with the Most Holy Virgin within me! And what shame, to be so bad! But that is the world.

But I like even more to have Jesus within me... Jesus, who gives me the cross to purify me, and also to see if I can do something for the world with my crosses.

With the help of God, since alone I am nothing.

A prayer that I say to Jesus is:

Oh, My Jesus!!!

[This diary is unfinished.  It is absolutely certain that Conchita wrote more, but her discretion as well as her mother’s have made the rest a permanent secret, at least for the moment. We don’t want to force this delicate matter and so we are limited to discussing other more interesting things that have taken place from this date until the time this book was published.]